It has taken me a few days to be able to write about this...it wouldn't have been news to any who read my blog. I didn't really have the words to express my emotions. I just felt crushed...then numb...and deeply sad. I am human enough to admit that I did ask God why. We will not fully know in this life. But He has been speaking gently...He does not allow any pain on this earth that does not have purpose for His kingdom. Maria's life had purpose, and her death will have purpose, too. Maria's death was no surprise to our Father. Quite possibly, He allowed this because of the strong faith of this family.
"Who's gonna love Maria?
Who's gonna touch her with the tenderness she longs for?
Like a desert longs for rain..
She's got a hunger deep inside
And with every tear she cries,
She wonders if there's someone out there somewhere
Who's gonna love Maria."
Maria was just a bit younger than her adopted sister, Stevey Joy. They were more often than not dressed alike and slept in the same room. They were inseparable. These two little girls were the story behind SCC's recent release, "Cinderella". He wrote it in one night, after the escapades of these two girls at bath time. "I was trying to give my little girls a bath and rushing and hurrying through it. And I got convicted over how much I rush through moments trying to get to the next one, and God telling me to stop and take the moments as he gives then, and see what he's trying to teach me."
I have listened to SCC's albums until I have literally worn a couple out. Over the years, I have realized that, on different days and at different times, God speaks to me through various lyrics. I like lots of other Christian artists and have been moved by their music, but there's something that speaks directly to me in SCC's music. The lyrics from so many of his songs have been ringing in my head for days. I believe that God was preparing hearts for this long before now. God has put on my heart that when we say with true abandon that we are prepared to follow Him, no matter where it leads us, we must be prepared for both the joy and the sorrow.
If God hadn't planted the seed of ministry in my heart all those years ago, I might never have turned my radio to a Christian station. I might never have enjoyed those moments in my car, belting out the words to "The Great Adventure". I might never have gone to a concert to enjoy some music I really liked. I might never have heard God speak to my soul that night. I might not understand the world and its aching needs in the ways I do, although I still have much to learn. I might not be compelled to look for ways to live my life in a larger, more purposeful way, although I still have much to do. I might not have been blessed with the privilege of traveling halfway around the world and becoming family with perfect strangers in a hot crowded room on "Gotcha Day". I might not know the joy and blessing in receiving love from a child borne of another woman. I might not have experienced the greatest adventure my heart has ever known.